Episode Two: Like Wildfire In High Wind (IV)

Love hurts too much. Is it worth the trouble?


Scene 4: Café Light Nibbles, Nathan Road

Anna nurses a sandwich between her fingers. She takes tiny bites. ‘What’s the matter? Your appetite isn’t too good today – or is it the food? Shall I call the waiter?’

Twinkle pushes her chicken rice backwards and forward with her chopsticks. ‘Anna, can I be frank with you and come straight to the point?’

‘Uh huh.’

‘I’m curious.’

‘What are you curious about?’

Twinkle drops her face, flushing furiously. ‘This is so embarrassing. I don’t even know how to broach the subject – ’

Anna sips her pomegranate juice. She puts down her sandwich, wipes her mouth daintily, and peers at Twinkle. ‘I know things have been a little awkward between us but that’s the past. We can talk to each other openly, nothing to be shy about, yes?’

‘I’m curious to know – ’

‘Yes?’

‘How did you get over Jeff? I mean, you were dating for two-and-a-half years and suddenly – oh Anna, you know what I mean!’

Anna’s eyes are serious. She looks at Twinkle intently. ‘Where are these questions coming from? Are you feeling unsure about Jeff, is that it? I can assure you there’s nothing between the two of us anymore – ’

‘No, that’s not it, Anna. What I’d like to know is how do you – did you – go from being Jeff’s steady one minute, ready to marry him if he proposes, to suddenly forgetting … forgetting about the relationship and letting go of him the next. How did your emotions change so much? How did you switch off?’

A cloud passes over Anna’s face.

‘Oh, I’m sorry I hurt you – ’ Twinkle reaches over and touches Anna.

Anna waves it away. ‘No, no, it’s not your fault. I am the one responsible for my own feelings. I must learn to handle my past. This is my past.’

Twinkle is blown away. ‘I admire your determination.’

Anna takes out a tissue and sniffs into it. ‘It didn’t come easy. I learnt it the hard way.’

They sit in silence for awhile.

‘Do you know what I’m determined about most in my life now?’ Anna suddenly asks.

‘No, what?’

‘I’m determined never to fall in love again – ’

Twinkle is horrified but tactfully conceals it. She takes big gulps of her iced milk tea. ‘I’m sure that's the way you feel now but you may feel differently tomorrow - ’

‘No, no, if anything this experience with Jeff has taught me, it is that sometimes - maybe even always – love isn’t enough!’ Anna wrings her tissue in her hands, clearly distressed now.

‘That’s – ’ Twinkle pauses, unsure how to proceed for fear of tripping up and making things worse - oh, why did she have to start the subject!

‘Anna, I do respect your feelings very much but perhaps, you’re too hasty?’

Anna shakes her head. The afternoon sun through the large shop-window catches the sheen of her long, immaculate hair. Other diners stare at her, amazed and enchanted by this pretty, delicate little thing.

‘If love were enough, you and I wouldn’t be sitting here this afternoon having this conversation. Because believe me, I loved Jeff. He was the first guy I ever loved and I think, most likely, he'll be the last.’

Suddenly the room feels as if it's beginning to spin. Twinkle grabs hold of the table to steady herself. 'I don't understand, Anna. You said you were over him. You said you had no more feelings. That it's all in the past - I really don't understand!'

Anna sets her mouth in a determined way. 'Can I really tell you what I feel about Jeff now? Do you want to know?'

Twinkle does not know whether to nod or shake her head. The possibilities of Anna's answer terrify her. Does she want to know? Does she need to know? Why, oh why, has she gone and stirred up a hornet's nest?