Jing Ko, how many times do we have to have this conversation? Make up your mind!
Scene 2: At The Fishing Float
She has never seen him this way. So angry, so fierce, so unwilling to give in to her. What’s happened to the boy she knew, the one who’s always ready to lend a shoulder for her to cry on, the one who’s always picking up after her, the one who keeps her from falling down when she has too heavy a burden on her shoulders?
She spits out saltwater. ‘Chi Yat-Po, have you completely lost your mind? I could’ve drowned – ’
Hands on his hips, perched on the edge of the fishing float, he yells back – ‘I am completely of sound mind! You’re the one who’s lost her senses! Have you come to your senses now? Have you?’
He refuses to take her hand even though she reaches out to him, begging to be pulled in.
‘If you’re going to keep this up, then I don’t want to see you anymore. Get away from me. Go! Go on! Swim back to the island and leave me alone!’
She can see he is serious.
‘Chi Yat-Po, please, I’m begging you. Help me in – ’
‘Are you ready to listen to reason? Will you stop this nonsense and fickle-minded complaining …’
‘Yes! Yes!’
‘Are you sure? Because I don’t want to hear rubbish from you anymore and I don’t want to see anymore crying and whining – ’
‘Yes, I’m sure! I won’t cry anymore – please give me a hand!’
He stands for a moment, considers her face. Their eyes meet. He holds her gaze. She inhales sharply. Who is this man – this demanding, unyielding, implacable man with the fierce, steady gaze?
The moment passes, their gaze breaks.
He reaches down and takes her hand. She grabs on. With one swift movement, he hauls her out of the water and onto the fishing float again. His strength surprises her. She can’t imagine how her skinny stick of a friend suddenly grew so strong. How and when?
‘Get into the shack. You need to dry off – ’ he says, curt.
Meekly, she follows him back into the shack.
He finds a towel and tosses it to her. Again, she is surprised at his aloofness. Hurt and surprised. She dries off.
He goes to the kitchen and puts water on the boil.
From behind her towel, she peers at him. ‘Chi Yat-Po – ’ she starts but he cuts her off.
‘Shut up. I don’t want to hear another word from you. Not for the time being. You just dry off and sit down.’
She sits down at the meals table. He comes with a mug of hot tea.
‘Sip this.’
She drinks slowly. The tea is strong. Bitterly so.
‘I – ’
‘Shut up! Don’t say anything until I tell you to. Just finish the tea.’
She is perplexed. For the first time, she is unable to read his thoughts. His back is turned towards her. He is hunched over in his chair, apparently in deep thought.
Finally, the tea is finished.
‘I’ve finished,’ she announces.
He turns towards her, eyes serious and calm – ‘I have some questions for you. Answer them properly.’
‘All right – ’
‘And no lying. Tell the truth.’
‘All right, I’ll try.’
He pauses, inhales deeply as if to breathe in as much oxygen as he can.
And then the questions fly – fast and thick as a hail of bullets:
‘How do you feel when you’re with Koon Sing – happy or sad?’
‘Happy.’
‘How do you feel when you’re out dating with him – proud or ashamed?’
‘Proud.’
‘Do you admire him – does he have qualities which you like in a man?’
‘Yes, he is smart, funny and very creative.’
‘Can you picture yourself beside him as a soul mate and a life partner – no lying now!’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘Do you still believe in horoscopes and Fate?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do believe Fate decides whom you should be with?’
‘Yes. No. I don’t know – ’
‘Never mind. Who went to Disneyland and found you – Koon Sing or me?’
‘Koon Sing.’
‘Is that important to you that he found you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Don’t you think that’s an answer from Fate?’
‘Maybe. I don’t know.’
‘I ask you again – do you like to be with Koon Sing or not?’
‘Yes.’
She sits and waits for the next question. It does not come.
‘Chi Yat-Po, say something.’
He takes the towel out of her hands and as if guided by an unseen force takes it to her head and rubs her wet hair with it – ‘You silly, silly thing ….’
His voice is soft and low. So low she is almost unable to make out what he’s saying.
‘Do you know it’s been a good thing for me that you’ve been gone these past few days?’
‘It has?’
‘It’s actually given me a chance to think things over. To get some clarity on what’s going on in our situation.’
‘Are you clear then on what’s going on?’
‘I think so, yes.’
‘Then explain it to me because I’m still confused. I don’t understand – if I like Koon Sing so much, why am I so miserable? Why can’t I sleep? Why did I stay up the whole night - thinking of you?’
‘Jing Ko, this is what I’ve figured. When a person is young, he has all kinds of emotions which he cannot understand. And sometimes, he gets these emotions mixed up.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You and I have been childhood friends since we were kids. You have no one else, no brothers, no sisters. And I had no one else, no brothers, no sisters. We had no one our age to spend time with and consequently, we found companionship with one another.’
‘That is true – ’
‘We cared for each other deeply like brother and sister and now … now that we’re grown up, we do not know how to handle these feelings. Especially since one of us has to move on and be involved in a love relationship with someone else.’
‘Are you saying we’re mixing up our feelings – thinking they are romantic feelings when in reality it’s only a love between best friends and siblings?’
‘Don’t you think that’s most likely the case?’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘Well, like I said, I’ve been thinking and checking my own feelings. And I think I may have muddled them up a bit – ’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Well, if I’m really in love with you – don’t you think I should have fought harder for you to stay instead of letting you go?’
‘Yes, you did let me go, that’s true – ’
‘I let you go with Simon, didn’t I? I let you go again with Koon Sing, didn’t I? Now what sort of a love is that if it were a man-and-woman love? Don’t you think it’s more a sibling-best friend sort of emotion – that I’m reluctant to lose a best friend or sister sort of situation?’
‘Yes, that does seem like it – ’
‘And if I have these feelings, won’t you have these feelings too – especially the reluctance to leave in order to join someone else?’
‘I see what you mean, yes.’
‘And that explains why you feel miserable and you can’t sleep and you keep thinking of me last night, don't you see?’
Her hair is still damp but he decides it's dried enough. He removes the towel, tosses it on the table and sits down. That shy, boyish smile plays on his lips.
She is relieved, so happy to see that familiar smile. His voice is soft once more, his mannerism towards her gentle and tender.
‘Chi Yat-Po, do you really believe Koon Sing and I have a future together?’
‘Without a doubt.’
They sit there for a long time, mulling in silence. He tries not to look at her, stares at the ceiling instead.
'Chi Yat-Po, will you always be my friend?'
He grins. 'Always, I swear.'
'Will you always tell me the truth?'
'Yes, I will - '
'Even if it hurts me?'
'Even if it hurts you.'
'Are you telling me the truth now - the whole truth?'
'Jing Ko, only God has the whole truth. I'm not God. I can only tell you what I know right this moment - '
'Ok, I can accept that.'
He gets up from the table, picks up her bag and hands it to her. ‘We better get going – Ah Pa will be looking for me.’
She follows him out to the boat docked by the side of his fishing float. The sun is high in the sky, the heat from its rays scorching her skin.
The engine of the boat roars loud over the waves. She clutches her bag to her chest. Chi Yat-Po fixes his eyes on a buoy in the distance. If he misses that buoy, they’ll have to go another round again to make their landing on the island. He is a local fellow and knows the weather well. The sun may be hot and scorching at the moment but the waves are playing up. This means a strong wind is blowing, possibly deteriorating into a gale afterwards. He has no wish to be caught in a storm, not with Twinkle in his small boat.
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