Episode 2: Like Wildfire In Highwind (VI)

Whom will you choose - the man from a classier part of town or the childhood friend with his humble background?

Scene 6: Tai Yuen Street, Wan Chai

It is early evening and the street is flooded with shoppers. On both sides sit dusty old shops piled high with what seems to be junk and trash of a bygone era. The trained eye, however, knows better.

He is holding her hand. For some reason, she feels self-conscious. Which is strange. This is not the first time she’s held hands in public.

The embarrassment causes her to become impatient – ‘C’mon, hurry up. Have you found what you’re looking for yet?

He pouts and looks at her from the corner of his eyes. ‘Oh, don’t rush me. You know it’s not easy sorting out the good stuff from the bad stuff in this big, tangled heap.’

‘I don’t understand,’ she replies, tugging at his hand, ‘why are we sifting through old junk – ’

‘Inspiration,’ he replies. ‘This is where I sometimes get good ideas on what kind of game or toy we can create.’

She looks at what he’s holding in his hands. It looks like a miniature train cabin, one of those early prototypes created by the English who were railways-mad. ‘That’s quite a common old toy. I’ve seen them around in plenty of shops. What are you going to do with this one?’

‘I’m going to take it apart and see the mechanism inside. Steal some ideas.’

She takes the badly scratched and dented toy in her hands. ‘Oh don’t. If you look at it carefully, it’s quite pretty. The design is wonderful. See how they’ve got the handle to the cabin door with its black, metal trim. The detailing in this toy is simply first-class. If you take this toy apart, you’ll completely destroy it – ’

He grins. ‘But that’s me. I’m a toy designer. I take my inspiration from wherever I can get it. If I have to take things apart, I take things apart. And sometimes, if I have to destroy something in order to get at what's inside, so be it!’

‘How hard-hearted that sounds! Why, you’re a vulture, a cannibal, a shameless thief!’

‘Oh yes, that I am!’ He makes a face, pretends to swoop down on her. She ducks and runs out of the shop. ‘Oh you can run but you can’t hide!’ – he flails his arms, tries to grab her.

She squeals and dashes down the street – oof! – she bumps into someone.

‘Twinkle! What are you doing here? What a surprise!’

Mei Kuen is holding a huge bag of shopping. New clothes, new shoes, new make-up. She peers at Twinkle and then Jeff. ‘Oh, I see. On a hot date, eh? Why didn’t anybody tell me you’re back? I’m so happy for you!’ she squeals in delight and squeezes Twinkle by the waist.

‘Oh, hello Kuen Kuen. We’re just looking for some things for work. Not really a date, you know. It’s business as well.’

‘You can’t fool me – I’m got eyes in my head and I can see what’s going on ...’ Mei Kuen hugs Twinkle over and over again. ‘Don’t forget to send me a card when the big day comes!’

Twinkle blushes. ‘What big day? We’re just taking things easy, one day at a time ...’

‘Yes,’ chimes in Jeff, suddenly alarmed, ‘what big day? We’re still young – no need to talk about such serious things yet – ’

But Mei Kuen’s gone off into a world of her own. ‘Ok, I can’t stand around here chatting with you two anymore. I’ve got things to do. I must get home!’

‘Goodbye, Kuen Kuen. Send my warm regards to your parents!’

‘Ooh, I will, I will! Boy, will they be surprised to hear from you!’

Mei Kuen takes off, her bags and bags of shopping swishing around her legs.

‘Oh no,’ Twinkle groans, ‘if’s she’s about to do what I think she’s about to do, I’m going to have a headache ...’

‘What is Mei Kuen going to do?’

‘At the market, we have a nickname for Kuen Kuen. It’s FM88.1.’

‘Why FM88.1?’

‘Do you know FM88.1’s slogan?

‘No. What is it?

‘It’s 聲為民開 — we broadcast for the public.’

Jeff laughs. ‘Well, what’s wrong with Mei Kuen broadcasting our good news. We’re together after all, there’s no need to be ashamed.’

Twinkle looks at him, utterly taken aback. How can Jeff forget he has a friend called Chi Yat Po who may be sitting at home feeling bad about this?

Episode Two: Like Wildfire In High Wind (I)

Happy so long as nobody mentions the name 'Jing Ko'





Scene 1: Hong Kong Airport

He is craning his neck. The crowd keeps shoving him and he struggles to maintain his spot at the front of the queue – Here, Ah Pa, hold my arm!

He grabs hold of his father, makes sure the man doesn’t get swept away – ‘Why is the airport so busy today?’

‘It’s the peak season. Everyone’s coming and going from their holidays. Chi Yat-Po, your Kou Kou is going to be so delighted to see you again – ’

He hangs on to his father’s arm. Every muscle in his body feels sore. He has slept badly, tossing and turning the whole night. In the middle of the night, he had a nightmare, sees Koon Sing coming after him with a brandished sword, runs like mad and falls off a precipice, but not before he first spots Twinkle standing in the background yelling for him. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be all right – he keeps yelling back, to reassure her, to stop her from rushing after him, but it seems like the more he tries to pacify her, the angrier Koon Sing becomes. It’s a bad omen, that’s what it is. Bad, bad omen.

This morning, he wakes up early and tries to keep to his usual routine – goes down and buys breakfast for himself and Ah Pa, exercises a bit on the balcony – the fresh air always does him good – reads the papers, he enjoys sports, comics and the local news – and has a chat with Ah Pa. After that, he goes down and washes his pick-up, his trusty old pick-up which he has had for five years years.

Five years, has it been that fast? Seems only like yesterday, he was saving every penny, scrimping here and there, in order to accumulate enough for the second-hand pick-up. One of these days, he’ll save up and get his old dad a better apartment. Yes, that’s his next project. An apartment with larger rooms so they’ll have more space and live comfortably. Maybe one with a nice view of the city, instead of their present apartment which has no view at all, hemmed in on all sides by old buildings, which are studded with ugly, old air-conditioning boxes and bamboo poles bearing loads of washing. Yes, that’ll be his next secret project. But he’s got to make a little more money first. Got to figure out a way to make those whelks and mussels around his fishing float grow more profusely to meet the increasing customer demand for these delicacies. Got to manage the timing right. Yesterday, a restaurant wanted to know if he could supply 50 kilos of whelks and mussels a week during the peak tourist season. He did not know the answer, told them he’d have to go do a bit of calculating first, investigate if the timing of the whelk and mussel harvest season is right, before he could give an answer. Of late, his fish and shellfish are fetching high prices – with more and more seafood restaurants opening in the harbour area.

‘Son, stop daydreaming and help Kou Kou with the bags!’ – oops, Chi Kam Kiu has arrived and she is staring at him with those beady eyes of hers, grinning from ear to ear, her arm looped around Greeny’s.

‘Chi Yat-Po! Aren’t you glad to see your aunt, you silly boy?’ She gives him a hard hug, knocks the wind out of him. ‘Hey, I’m gone a few weeks and you’re looking so tired and haggard. Languishing without me, are you? Is my vegetable business still on its feet or have you manage to drive it to the ground?’ – she pinches his cheeks, pokes him in the stomach. He jumps away, he’s ticklish.

‘Kou Kou, stop teasing me! Otherwise, I won’t carry your bags!’

‘Hah, see if you dare! Don’t want your presents, do you? Anyway, if you won’t carry my bags, someone else will – ’ she grins at her husband. Greeny gets the hint, picks up the largest suitcase and puffs up his chest.

‘Wife, this way – follow me …’

They walk past the long queues.

‘What did you get me, Kou Kou? Something expensive and very nice, I hope!’

‘Cheeky. I got you a teddy bear, a pink one with big blue bow, for you to hug when you go to sleep – ’

‘Hey, that’s not funny. I’m not a little boy anymore!’

‘No, you’re not. You’re not. You’re my grown-up nephew, a man. And I’m very proud of you. So, Chi Yat-Po, tell me – how’s your love life these days?’ Chi Kam Kiu catches him by the elbow.

He makes a quick move, shakes her off, and walks quickly ahead – ‘Quick, everybody – this way, before the traffic jams starts and we are stuck here!’

‘This Chi Yat-Po, always so shy when asked about his love life - incorrigible – ’

Greeny pats his wife on the back. ‘Josephine, this is Chi Yat-Po. Like you’re always telling me, he’s one who is fond of keeping things to himself. Be patient. When he’s ready, I'm sure he'll tell us what's on his heart.’

‘He’d better. Life is too short for this kind of dilly-dallying. You better be a good influence and teach him that!’

Greeny gives one of his slow smiles. ‘If a duffer like me can find romance, surely Chi Yat-Po will do better.’

Episode One: Goodbye Is The Hardest Word (V)

Twinkle, why are you covered in bruises?

Scene 5: At Twinkle’s Apartment


Kan Sui Zhong has whipped out another bowl of soup. This time, chicken feet with pumpkin and adzuki beans. Interesting flavours, he thinks, as he takes a tentative sip – Daughter, come and have some!

She sits on the sofa, feet up, flipping through a magazine. The cover reads: ‘How To Know If It's The Real Thing.’

‘Daughter, this soup is going to make your skin beautiful – if you don’t drink it while it’s hot, all its efficacy will be lost!’

She gets up, walks listlessly to the table. ‘Ah Pa – I told you I’m not hungry. Why do you still insist on cooking up so much food?’

He grins. ‘Can’t a man be happy his daughter is back home? Lam-Lam, do you know how worried I was when you were away? I didn’t know when you were coming home, when I’d see you again. I was worried your departed mother will hound me for an answer!’

She tastes the soup. ‘It’s all right. Tastes not bad.’

‘Lam-Lam, I know you don’t like me to interfere with your life but I must say I’m very happy with the decision you’ve made – ’

She stares at her father. Moves to the far side of the room. For some reason, she does not feel like continuing the conversation.

‘I know Chi Yat-Po is a nice boy and all. And he’s been your best friend all these years. And he obviously cares very much for your wellbeing. But – ’

‘But what, Ah Pa, what do you want to say?’

‘Don’t jump at me. I’m not saying anything a reasonable parent wouldn’t say. Chi Yat-Po, for all his virtues, is not an equal match. Your world and his world – well, they’re worlds apart! You know we Chinese have a saying about bamboo doors facing bamboo doors ...’

She scowls at her father. ‘He is no longer in my world, as you put it, so please can we talk about something else – ’

Kan Sui Zhong sighs happily. ‘I’m glad you think this way. Chi Yat-Po is a happy fishmonger. He is satisfied with his fishing float and his fishing stall and cutting and cleaning and selling fish. He will wake up every morning and do this without complaints. Chi Yat-Po, if you’ll forgive me for saying, is just like his father – simple-minded and singularly without ambition.’

Twinkle feels her ire rising. ‘How can you say that, Ah Pa – you don’t know him as well as I do – ’

‘Hey, before you jump to conclusions, let me tell you this. When Chi Kam Kwai was a young man, he was completely like this as well. Having enough to fill his rice-bowl was all he cared about. Tell him about more enterprising matters, he’s gone – like a shot out of the door.’

‘And what’s your point, Ah Pa? Isn’t Uncle Chi Kam Kwai happy as he is? Isn’t he doing well being a good provider for his family?’

‘Good provider? You call that being a good provider? Hah, his one young son has nothing except a fish-stall and a fishing float. They live in a small apartment with two bedrooms and a tiny kitchen. Everyday, they work from sun-up to sundown doing something which every man, woman and child in Hong Kong knows is a menial, lowly job. What does Chi Kam Kwai have, I ask you?’

‘Chi Kam Kwai is contented. Isn’t that enough?’

‘Contented? Contented is what people say when they’re failures and cowards. People who can’t make headway in this world and don’t have the courage to go out there and make a grab for their piece of the pie! Now Koon Sing - that Koon Sing is a different species altogether – ’

‘I’m so glad you approve of Koon Sing – ’

Kan Sui Zhong does not notice the sarcasm in her voice.

‘With Koon Sing, you’ll never ever have to go home to a man who stinks from the sweat of his labour. With Koon Sing, you’ll be able to expand your horizons, go where your poor mother and I have never gone before. With Koon Sing, you’ll be able to see the world, conquer the world! You’ll have something Chi Yat-Po will be never able to give you. Do you know what that is?’

‘What is that, Ah Pa?’

‘Respect. Respect from people in this society. You ask yourself – how many people are going to respect the wife of a fishmonger. I dare you, go to the street and tell people – I’m the wife of a fishmonger and see what they say. See if they will give you a second glance.’

‘Ah Pa, I know you mean well for me but can we not talk about Chi Yat-Po anymore?’

‘All right, all right, as you wish. I only hope you appreciate your good fortune that a man like Koon Sing finds favour in you – ’

The doorbell buzzes.

‘Who can that be?’

Jeff’s face appears at the opened door. Kan Sui Zhong flings himself at Jeff, gives him a bear hug, to the surprise of the younger man. ‘Uncle – ’

‘Ahh, speak of the devil! Come in, my dear young man, come in. You’re just in time. Soup!’ – Kan Sui Zhong snatches up the big bunch of flowers from Jeff's hands, propels him into a chair, forces him to sit in it, drags a bowl of soup before him and forces a spoon into his hand. ‘Eat, eat! Lam-Lam, here's some flowers for you, isn't it lovely!’

Jeff digs into the soup. ‘This smells wonderful. You’re a very good cook, Uncle – thank you ...’

Kan Sui Zhong beams, he massages Jeff’s shoulder as if he were a prized bull. All of a sudden, from the corner of his eye he catches Twinkle glaring at him – ‘Ah, Koon Sing, you sit here and eat your soup. I’ve suddenly remembered I’ve got something important to do –’

‘Where are you going, Uncle?’

‘I, ahh, I’m going to see my, my – yes, my bookie. I’ve forgotten to place my numbers for this week’s lottery. You two talk as long as you wish, I’ll be out for some time. See you, daughter! See you, Koon Sing – ’ and before Twinkle can stop him, the door bangs shut behind him.

Jeff pushes the bowl of soup away. He stands up and approaches Twinkle.

‘Isn't it kind of late for you to come and see me – ’

‘Oh, don’t be silly. Isn’t it normal for a boyfriend to be eager to see his girlfriend no matter what time of day?’

She crosses her arms, hugs herself and sits down on the sofa. He hurries to her side.

‘Twinkle, I was so anxious to see you – ’

‘Why?’

‘I wanted to know if you’ve talked to Chi Yat-Po, if you’ve told him about us. What I mean to say is, is he all right? Has he come to terms with our decision to be together? Well?’

She turns her face away from him. ‘Yes, I’ve spoken to him – ’

‘And – how did he take it?’

‘As always, he was a gentleman. He told me not to worry about it, told me he’d be fine – ’

Jeff leaps up from the sofa. ‘That is great, just great!’ – he tries to pull Twinkle to her feet – ‘Come on, get dressed, let’s go out and celebrate!’

The shock and horror must have registered pretty clearly in her face because the next minute, Jeff steps back – ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, so sorry. I’m being an insensitive cad, aren’t I?’

‘Yes, you are. He was, he is – my best friend.’

‘I know, Twinkle, I know. But don’t be mad at me – isn’t it a fact I’m your best friend now. That’s what I’m supposed to be, isn’t it? A boyfriend most certainly is one's best friend, yes?’

The thought of that has not struck her before. Now she feels the full force of it. And the violence of it shocks her. Shocks her so much, she involuntarily shakes her head – ‘Oh no, oh no, what have I done? What have I done – ’

Jeff takes her into his arms, holds her so tight she can hardly breath. ‘It’s going to be okay, Twinkle. It’s going to be okay. Now you have me. You have me. You don’t need Chi Yat-Po anymore. You’ve got me!’

She shudders, cold and terribly frightened at the same time. This is not how she imagined love to be. ‘Koon Sing, let me go – I can’t breathe!’

Reluctantly, he releases her. ‘Your hands are cold – ’ he takes her hand and starts to massage it – ‘Hey, what is this? How did you injure yourself?’

She looks at her hand. Sees what he means. A big, black bruise has formed on the top section of her wrist. Quickly, she checks her other hand. A matching bruise, slightly below the left wrist.

‘What happened? How come you’re black and blue all over?’

She has no idea.

‘Did you fall down?’

‘No, I didn’t.’

‘This is very weird. Did you sprain yourself by accident?’

She shakes her head. ‘No, no, nothing like that – ’ then suddenly remembers and blushes violently.

He sees her red face. ‘Why is your face so hot? Are you all right?’

‘Koon Sing, I don’t feel so well – ’

‘Have you got a fever?’ – he tries to take her temperature but she refuses to let him touch her forehead.

‘I want to go to bed. I want to sleep – ’

He looks at her, stock-still. After a few moments, he relents. ‘All right, I’ll call you tomorrow. You go to bed. Come, I’ll take you to your room – ’ but she refuses his hand. Refuses to let him take her by the elbow and lead her to her room. Instead, she shrugs him off. Pushes him towards the door. Opens the door and shoves him out.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow – ’

‘Ok, tomorrow. Tomorrow then – ’ his voice echoes forlornly on the other side of the door.

She locks the door. Quickly, she runs to her room. Once her door is locked, she inspects herself. Checks her arms all over. No, there is no other sign of bruising except that on her wrists.

She sits down on her bed and looks at her wrist. She touches the bruises. The flesh is tender, it hurts. Softly, she murmurs to herself – ‘Chi Yat-Po, you hurt me …’

Episode One: Goodbye Is The Hardest Word (IV)

Yip Sheung Wai, you made me wait half a lifetime, you nitwit...


Scene 4: In A Crowded Café in San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf

Her feet are killing her but CHI KAM KIU (Kingdom Yuen) wants to get up and start walking again.

‘Come on, there’s more things to see up ahead. More shops and restaurants on that side of the wharf – ’

‘Josephine, I may be your new husband but I’m no spring chicken. Give me a minute and let me finish this coffee.’

GREENY (Ram Tseung) sips his espresso, makes a face as he burns his lips.

‘Josephine, you really surprise me – ’

‘What? Underestimating me, are you? Let me tell you, my friend, there’s still a lot of zip in this old body of mine. Years and years of drudgery has made me a lean, mean, on-the-go machine …’

Greeny laughs. He has never been so happy in his life, nor so exhausted.

‘All right, we’ll go. But on one condition – one more block and then we really have to stop and get some dinner. I’m dying of hunger here! All these little cakes and pastries are not filling me up at all, I need real food!’

They pick up their bags of shopping and make a mad dash across the road.

‘Pretty, so pretty – ’ chirps Chi Kam Kiu, rummaging through stacks of trinkets and toys and T-shirts in one of the many gift shops that line Pier 39.

‘Oh no, haven’t we got enough souvenirs for everyone? Madam, have mercy – I have only two hands to carry all your shopping!’

Chi Kam Kiu giggles. She feels like a young girl again, as if she's fallen into a fountain of youth and is filled to the brim with eternal joy. She looks at Greeny, pulls a face. ‘Who asked you to say ‘I do?’ Did anybody twist your arm to say ‘I do?’ Now that you’ve said ‘I do,’ you’d better ‘do it’ – otherwise, I’ll take you to court!’

Greeny grins and fakes a sigh. ‘All right, my little wife, all right – I’ll be your slave the rest of my life. You say “jump” and I’ll say “how high?” – good enough?’

‘Shameless! Talking like this at your age! Hey, does this shirt fit Chi Yat-Po?’

She picks out another shirt for her favourite nephew. This time one that reads ‘Alcatraz 627189.’

‘Hey, Chi Yat-Po’s not going to wear that! That’s a prisoner’s shirt, no good – ’

‘Ok, you choose then – would you rather have this one instead – it says “Alcatraz Psycho Ward?”’

‘You’re right. Stick with the 627189 shirt – ’

One hour later, they finish shopping the block.

The sky is a rosy pink, the first blush of evening. It is a fitting end to a wonderful day.

It is their last evening in San Francisco. Three weeks have gone by in a flash.

Greeny picks a seafood restaurant. A cheerful-looking eatery all decked out in white and red stripes. They order Dungeness crab pasta, mussels in white wine, a large bowl of clam chowder and a big side order of Caesar’s salad.

‘Josephine – you’ve made me a very, very happy man!’

Greeny tries to hold Chi Kam Kiu’s hands but she hides them in her lap. Despite her ebullience, she is still old-fashioned. Holding hands in public is a big no-no.

Greeny wipes his glasses. When he puts them back on his nose, he is startled to find Chi Kam Kiu looking down, tears falling into her bowl of soup.

‘Josephine, Josephine – have I done something wrong? Did I hurt you – ’

Chi Kam Kiu weeps silently into her bowl of soup.

Greeny looks over his shoulders, embarrassed anyone might see them in this state.

‘Oh Josephine, I’m a stupid man. Tell me what I did wrong and I’ll stop doing it!’

She lifts her head, sniffs and wipes a hand across her nose.

‘Yes, Yip Sheung Wai, that’s what you are. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid – ’

Greeny is alarmed. Surely Josephine’s not old enough to be menopausal – what’s the reason for this wild mood swing?

‘Do you know why you’re stupid?’

‘Why, my little wife, why?’

‘You’re stupid because you waited this long to make me happy – ’

‘Oh Josephine!’

‘Stupid because you made me wait half a lifetime – made me waste half a lifetime – wasted my youth – wasted my passion, my energy, my love, wasted it on somebody else while you took your own sweet time to turn up!’

‘Oh Josephine!’

It is Greeny’s turn to cry.

The waiter who brings them their salad is alarmed – ‘Sir, Madam – is there something wrong with the order? Shall I get the manager?’

Greeny sniffs loudly. He waves the waiter off. ‘Oh go away! Can’t you see we’re being exceedingly happy? Give us some privacy, will you?’

The waiter, a white guy, shakes his head. Chinese people, he'll never understand Chinese people ...

Episode One: Goodbye Is The Hardest Word (III)

Miserable but have to keep working, mustn't let Ah Pa know ...


Scene 3: At The Market Place

‘I’m sorry, Ah Pa …’

Chi Kam Kwai looks up to see his son, lugging in a box of fish. Immediately, he drops what he is doing and goes over to him. ‘Son, where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you. Did you find Jing Ko?’

Chi Yat-Po does not like lying to his father. He has never lied to his father, not once in his entire life. Instead of answering, he drops his head and looks at the ground. Not a word escapes from his lips.

Chi Kam Kwai is a patient man. He removes his bloodied apron and motions for his shop assistant to take over the task of seeing to a customer who is turning over a live pomfret in her hands. Aunty, don’t manhandle the fish - Ah Piu here will help you to get a nice, lively one!

He pulls his son into the back of the shop.

‘Son, do you know how frantic Jing Ko has been? She’s been searching for you. She called the house early this morning. I haven’t even brushed my teeth and the phone was ringing off the hook. She says she’s been calling your mobile but there’s no pick-up. What happened? Where did you go? I thought you knew where to find Jing Ko last night when you dashed off all of a sudden – well, answer me, will you?’

He lifts his head but his eyes do not meet his father’s gaze. ‘Ah Pa, don’t ask me so many questions all at once. I don’t know how to answer you – ’

‘Just tell me one thing – did you find Jing Ko last night or didn’t you? What’s happened between the two of you? Why was she calling so early this morning?’

‘No, Ah Pa, I can honestly tell you. Jing Ko and I did not meet last night. I did not manage to talk to her or see her face-to-face at all.’

‘But I thought you knew where she was?’

‘Ah Pa, people can make mistakes. I cannot read Jing Ko’s mind. I may think she’s at a certain place but in actuality she is somewhere else – ’

‘Then did she manage to get through to you this morning? Where have you been the whole morning anyway?’

‘I’m sorry I overslept out at the fishing float. Yes, I did finally manage to see Jing Ko. In fact, she came over to the fishing float this morning and that’s why I am so late to work –’

‘I see, I see – ’ a smile breaks over Chi Kam Kwai’s face. He puts a hand on his son’s shoulder, gives him an affectionate squeeze.

‘Son, my son, why are you looking so miserable? You are a silly boy indeed – ’

‘Ah Pa, don’t tease me, I’m not in the mood – ’

‘Ah Pa teasing you is a small matter. You’re a silly boy, looking so embarrassed and shy. My son, it’s a natural thing for a man to fall in love with a woman and vice-versa. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. So you and Jing Ko have finally reached an understanding, I trust?’

‘Yes, we have reached an understanding – ’

‘That’s good, son, good. One cannot live in a state of uncertainty for prolonged periods over matters of the heart. It’s good that both of you understand each other and are clear about where you both stand. All this uncertainty will take a toll on your health otherwise – ’

‘Yes, everything is certain and fixed now. There’s no going back, no – ’

‘That’s the way, my son. No going back. We must focus on what’s ahead. Keep going forward and don’t look back. Let the past be the past. If we have such an attitude, our life will be a happy and smooth-sailing one – ’

‘I won’t look back, Ah Pa. I’ll do my best not to turn back, trust me – ’

Chi Kam Kwai is beaming from ear to ear. His shop assistant, Ah Piu, is also beaming from ear-to-ear, that naughty eavesdropper.

He comes over and puts a hand on Chi Yat-Po’s shoulders, cheerful and friendly. ‘Are we going to hear wedding bells soon? Hey, Chi Kam Kwai, looks like you’re going to be digging into your nest egg again – this time for a happier and more useful occasion … ’

Chi Kam Kwai rubs his hands. ‘Son, son, when do you think is a good time for me and Kou Kou to go over to Kan Sui Zhong to have a talk? As soon as possible, don’t you think?’

Chi Yat-Po groans.

‘Ah Pa, will you stop calling him that? He’s not a glutinous rice dumpling, he’s Jing Ko’s father! Show him some respect, won’t you?’

‘You’re right, my son, as always, you’re right. After all, he’s going to be our in-law soon and it’s no good for me to keep calling him by that teasing nickname. I’m sorry, my son. Forgive your old dad – it’s a force of habit. I promise I’ll be more careful when I speak about Brother Zhong in the future – ’

‘Ah Pa, let me handle my own marriage matters. Please don’t do anything, please! I know when is the right time for things to be done – ’

Chi Kam Kwai feels his heart would burst with joy. His son is no longer a boy but a man. He empathizes completely. The day he fell in love with Yat-Po’s mother, he had been a transformed man. Transformed in the twinkling of an eye. One day, he was a happy-go-lucky fellow, satisfied to wake up in the morning, go to work, meet up with his friends afterwards and have a beer or two, before knocking off for home.

In those days, he had little money. A labourer in a soy sauce brewery owned by his Third Uncle, he depended entirely on the charity of this uncle’s family just to get his three square meals a day. Fortunately, Third Uncle was a kind man and treated him like a son, the one he never had.

Chi Kam Kwai was a playful young man and often took his work lightly, skipping off in the middle of the day to hang out with his best mates at the dock. In those days, they were a gang of five – Lightning Yip, Old Dog Head, Ah Thong, Kan Sui Zhong and himself. They spent most of their days lounging around, playing cards, smoking, going fishing, dreaming of fame and fortune but it was all mere talk.

One afternoon, a girl came to the brewery in search of work. She was an orphan and even more penniless than Chi Kam Kwai was. A slim young thing, barely 17, with eyes that glowed bright and alert, a quick smile that reveal the tiniest row of pearlescent teeth. She sang songs in a lilting voice and loved reciting classical poetry.

Chi Kam Kwai was hooked in an instance. Like a fish with no hope of disentangling himself from the bait.

All of a sudden, he wasn’t a good-for-nothing. All of a sudden, he found renewed vigour for life, a passion and a positive attitude towards work which stunned even his most sceptical of aunts and uncles.

By the time his uncle wanted to sell the brewery, Chi Kam Kwai had risen to floor manager.

The sweet orphan girl, whose name was Mei Yan, agreed to marry him.

He guessed that was when the enmity started, the trouble between him and Kan Sui Zhong. Both of them had chased after the same girl but Mei Yan chose him. Why? He never knew, probably because he straightened out but Kan Sui Zhong remained a loose talker, a loafer and a braggart up until the day he met Twinkle’s mother, a rich shopkeeper's daughter, and succeeded in sweet-talking her into a hasty but profitable marriage.

'My son, now that you’re going to be the head of your own household, you must think about your future seriously – don’t be so playful anymore – I will give you my support in any endeavour you desire to undertake – ’

Chi Yat-Po pushes his father’s hands away. ‘Ah Pa, I’m so terribly tired right now. Can you please leave me alone? – ’

‘I’m just giving you sound advice – ’

‘Ah Pa. I just want to be left alone. I’m tired – can’t you understand something this simple?’

Chi Kam Kwai is surprised and a little hurt. ‘All right, all right, I’ll leave you alone for now. You may be my flesh and blood but I swear, sometimes I don’t understand what goes on between those two ears of yours …’

Chi Yat-Po picks up fish from the box and chucks them into the display containers at the front of their shop. One by one, he throws them into the water, carelessly.

‘Hey, watch it, watch it – don’t throw the fish so hard, you’ll kill them – ’ Chi Kam Kwai eyes his son suspiciously.

The minute he turns away, Chi Yat-Po mutters under his breath, ‘Good, at least someone here knows what it feels like to be dropped on the head …’

Episode One: Goodbye Is The Hardest Word (II)

Jing Ko, how many times do we have to have this conversation? Make up your mind!


Scene 2: At The Fishing Float

She has never seen him this way. So angry, so fierce, so unwilling to give in to her. What’s happened to the boy she knew, the one who’s always ready to lend a shoulder for her to cry on, the one who’s always picking up after her, the one who keeps her from falling down when she has too heavy a burden on her shoulders?

She spits out saltwater. ‘Chi Yat-Po, have you completely lost your mind? I could’ve drowned – ’

Hands on his hips, perched on the edge of the fishing float, he yells back – ‘I am completely of sound mind! You’re the one who’s lost her senses! Have you come to your senses now? Have you?’

He refuses to take her hand even though she reaches out to him, begging to be pulled in.

‘If you’re going to keep this up, then I don’t want to see you anymore. Get away from me. Go! Go on! Swim back to the island and leave me alone!’

She can see he is serious.

‘Chi Yat-Po, please, I’m begging you. Help me in – ’

‘Are you ready to listen to reason? Will you stop this nonsense and fickle-minded complaining …’

‘Yes! Yes!’

‘Are you sure? Because I don’t want to hear rubbish from you anymore and I don’t want to see anymore crying and whining – ’

‘Yes, I’m sure! I won’t cry anymore – please give me a hand!’

He stands for a moment, considers her face. Their eyes meet. He holds her gaze. She inhales sharply. Who is this man – this demanding, unyielding, implacable man with the fierce, steady gaze?

The moment passes, their gaze breaks.

He reaches down and takes her hand. She grabs on. With one swift movement, he hauls her out of the water and onto the fishing float again. His strength surprises her. She can’t imagine how her skinny stick of a friend suddenly grew so strong. How and when?

‘Get into the shack. You need to dry off – ’ he says, curt.

Meekly, she follows him back into the shack.

He finds a towel and tosses it to her. Again, she is surprised at his aloofness. Hurt and surprised. She dries off.

He goes to the kitchen and puts water on the boil.

From behind her towel, she peers at him. ‘Chi Yat-Po – ’ she starts but he cuts her off.

‘Shut up. I don’t want to hear another word from you. Not for the time being. You just dry off and sit down.’

She sits down at the meals table. He comes with a mug of hot tea.

‘Sip this.’

She drinks slowly. The tea is strong. Bitterly so.

‘I – ’

‘Shut up! Don’t say anything until I tell you to. Just finish the tea.’

She is perplexed. For the first time, she is unable to read his thoughts. His back is turned towards her. He is hunched over in his chair, apparently in deep thought.

Finally, the tea is finished.

‘I’ve finished,’ she announces.

He turns towards her, eyes serious and calm – ‘I have some questions for you. Answer them properly.’

‘All right – ’

‘And no lying. Tell the truth.’

‘All right, I’ll try.’

He pauses, inhales deeply as if to breathe in as much oxygen as he can.

And then the questions fly – fast and thick as a hail of bullets:

‘How do you feel when you’re with Koon Sing – happy or sad?’

‘Happy.’

‘How do you feel when you’re out dating with him – proud or ashamed?’

‘Proud.’

‘Do you admire him – does he have qualities which you like in a man?’

‘Yes, he is smart, funny and very creative.’

‘Can you picture yourself beside him as a soul mate and a life partner – no lying now!’

‘Yes, I think so.’

‘Do you still believe in horoscopes and Fate?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do believe Fate decides whom you should be with?’

‘Yes. No. I don’t know – ’

‘Never mind. Who went to Disneyland and found you – Koon Sing or me?’

‘Koon Sing.’

‘Is that important to you that he found you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Don’t you think that’s an answer from Fate?’

‘Maybe. I don’t know.’

‘I ask you again – do you like to be with Koon Sing or not?’

‘Yes.’

She sits and waits for the next question. It does not come.

‘Chi Yat-Po, say something.’

He takes the towel out of her hands and as if guided by an unseen force takes it to her head and rubs her wet hair with it – ‘You silly, silly thing ….’

His voice is soft and low. So low she is almost unable to make out what he’s saying.

‘Do you know it’s been a good thing for me that you’ve been gone these past few days?’

‘It has?’

‘It’s actually given me a chance to think things over. To get some clarity on what’s going on in our situation.’

‘Are you clear then on what’s going on?’

‘I think so, yes.’

‘Then explain it to me because I’m still confused. I don’t understand – if I like Koon Sing so much, why am I so miserable? Why can’t I sleep? Why did I stay up the whole night - thinking of you?’

‘Jing Ko, this is what I’ve figured. When a person is young, he has all kinds of emotions which he cannot understand. And sometimes, he gets these emotions mixed up.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You and I have been childhood friends since we were kids. You have no one else, no brothers, no sisters. And I had no one else, no brothers, no sisters. We had no one our age to spend time with and consequently, we found companionship with one another.’

‘That is true – ’

‘We cared for each other deeply like brother and sister and now … now that we’re grown up, we do not know how to handle these feelings. Especially since one of us has to move on and be involved in a love relationship with someone else.’

‘Are you saying we’re mixing up our feelings – thinking they are romantic feelings when in reality it’s only a love between best friends and siblings?’

‘Don’t you think that’s most likely the case?’

‘I’m not sure.’

‘Well, like I said, I’ve been thinking and checking my own feelings. And I think I may have muddled them up a bit – ’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Well, if I’m really in love with you – don’t you think I should have fought harder for you to stay instead of letting you go?’

‘Yes, you did let me go, that’s true – ’

‘I let you go with Simon, didn’t I? I let you go again with Koon Sing, didn’t I? Now what sort of a love is that if it were a man-and-woman love? Don’t you think it’s more a sibling-best friend sort of emotion – that I’m reluctant to lose a best friend or sister sort of situation?’

‘Yes, that does seem like it – ’

‘And if I have these feelings, won’t you have these feelings too – especially the reluctance to leave in order to join someone else?’

‘I see what you mean, yes.’

‘And that explains why you feel miserable and you can’t sleep and you keep thinking of me last night, don't you see?’

Her hair is still damp but he decides it's dried enough. He removes the towel, tosses it on the table and sits down. That shy, boyish smile plays on his lips.

She is relieved, so happy to see that familiar smile. His voice is soft once more, his mannerism towards her gentle and tender.

‘Chi Yat-Po, do you really believe Koon Sing and I have a future together?’

‘Without a doubt.’

They sit there for a long time, mulling in silence. He tries not to look at her, stares at the ceiling instead.

'Chi Yat-Po, will you always be my friend?'

He grins. 'Always, I swear.'

'Will you always tell me the truth?'

'Yes, I will - '

'Even if it hurts me?'

'Even if it hurts you.'

'Are you telling me the truth now - the whole truth?'

'Jing Ko, only God has the whole truth. I'm not God. I can only tell you what I know right this moment - '

'Ok, I can accept that.'

He gets up from the table, picks up her bag and hands it to her. ‘We better get going – Ah Pa will be looking for me.’

She follows him out to the boat docked by the side of his fishing float. The sun is high in the sky, the heat from its rays scorching her skin.

The engine of the boat roars loud over the waves. She clutches her bag to her chest. Chi Yat-Po fixes his eyes on a buoy in the distance. If he misses that buoy, they’ll have to go another round again to make their landing on the island. He is a local fellow and knows the weather well. The sun may be hot and scorching at the moment but the waves are playing up. This means a strong wind is blowing, possibly deteriorating into a gale afterwards. He has no wish to be caught in a storm, not with Twinkle in his small boat.

Episode One: Goodbye Is The Hardest Word (I)

What's the matter, Jing Ko? Don't cry, talk to me ...


Scene One: At The Fishing Float

He is startled from his sleep. Chi Yat-Po! Where are you?

This is terrible. Even in his sleep, he hears her voice. Has Twinkle become a ghost to haunt him now?

He turns and flips on his sofa, trying to find a spot to sink his weary body into the edges of the cushion. It has been an awful morning. He has been sitting on the edge of his fishing float for hours, until a numbness crept into his knees and exhaustion overtook him, causing him to nearly fall into the water.

It must be nearly ten o’clock now. Father must be surprised he has not turned up for work yet. Another batch of fish is sitting in a box waiting to be transferred to the market. But does he care? Does he really care? For the first time in his life, he feels selfish. Feels he does not care what anybody thinks. He has no mood to get up, no mood to work, no mood to even face all the old familiar faces at home.

If he had thought that sleep would have banished the heaviness in his heart, he was wrong. The pain is still sitting like a knife in the chest. A big, heavy knife with a big, heavy handle. Much like one of those cleavers he uses to cut up fish at the market every day.

He rubs his chest a few times. Feels the cleaver as if it were a tangible object in his fingers. Why the hell doesn’t the pain go away?

Chi Yat-Po! Where are you? Answer me, will you?

He jumps up with a start. Damn, that didn’t sound like a dream …

The door of his fishing shack suddenly swings open.

‘Chi Yat-Po? Where have you been? I’ve been calling and calling – why won’t you pick up?’

He blinks in utter surprise. Tries to stand up and smooth his hair down, tries to put his shoes on, but manages to only knock his knee against the coffee table, ouch.

She stomps into the room, flings down her bag and sits down, pulling him down beside her.

‘Chi Yat-Po,’ she says, ‘I’m utterly miserable.’

‘Eh, what’s happened?’

‘Chi Yat-Po, I ask you again, where have you been?’

‘Why, what’s the matter?’

‘I needed to talk to you. I needed to talk to you so badly.’

Suddenly, he is all alert. ‘Wait a minute,’ he says, ‘let me wash my face and I’ll talk to you.’

He dashes to the kitchen sink and splashes water on his face. Muttering under his breath, he chides himself for forgetting to bring a change of clothes to the fishing float. What must she think of him – dirty and smelly and a mess at this hour of the morning – no wonder it’s hard for her to decide whom she wants to be with …

He returns to the sofa to find her staring blankly at her hands.

‘Hey, don’t look so down. Things can’t be that bad. Talk to me.’

She lifts a wry smile to his face. Tries to grin but fails. She searches his eyes but he does not allow it, quickly dropping his gaze to both his knees.

‘What’s the matter, Jing Ko? I’ve been quite worried about you.’

And then as an immediate afterthought, quickly adds: ‘We’ve all been terribly worried about you, Koon Sing especially – ’

She wrings her hands. ‘Do you know what happened yesterday?’

‘No. What happened yesterday?’

He is a lousy liar, looks at the ground as if his shoes were about open their mouths and wag a tongue at him.

‘Koon Sing found me.’

‘Oh, really? That’s very good. That’s wonderful of him. Wonderful for you.’

‘He found me in the evening.’

‘That’s good, very good.’

‘Stop saying “good, very good.” Aren’t you interested where he found me?’

‘Yes, of course. Where did he find you?’

‘At Disneyland.’

‘Ah, Disneyland. So that’s where you were. Hey, how come you went to Disneyland without inviting me?’

She glared at him, not appreciating the ill-timed humour at all.
‘Chi Yat-Po, do you know how miserable I feel?’

‘What’s the matter? Why are you miserable? Koon Sing has found you – that should be reason enough for you to be glad.’

‘Chi Yat-Po, when Koon Sing found me at Disneyland yesterday, I said to myself: Fate has decided I’m to be with him – ’

‘Ahh, yes, fate! Good old fate…

‘Koon Sing and I spent the whole evening walking up and down Disneyland. When Disneyland closed, we went for a walk in the city. We walked and we walked and we walked. And all the while, Koon Sing talked about how we should talk to you. How to best let you know about us without hurting you, without causing you more grief – ’

She searches his face for a clue but obstinately he thwarts her, keeping his head down, his eyes averted. Bad, bad liar.

‘Jing Ko, listen to me – ’

‘Go ahead. I’m listening.’

‘You’re worrying too much. I’m not made of tofu, not so easily breakable …’

‘Chi Yat-Po, you don’t understand. Do you know what happened after Koon Sing and I parted last night?’

‘No, what happened?’

‘I went home and I tried to go to sleep. But the whole night, I couldn’t sleep! I couldn’t sleep and I was so miserable.’

‘Why were you miserable?’

‘I was miserable because I kept thinking of you. The whole night, I was thinking of you. I thought about how you looked, how your voice sounds, and I imagined what you’d say when we meet, imagine what I’d say, imagine how – oh Chi Yat-Po, a hundred thoughts rushed through my head and I’m so utterly miserable!’


He cannot bear it. The tears in her eyes are threatening to start a downpour in his eyes. He stands up, yanking her to her feet. ‘Jing Ko, stop! I say, stop!’

‘What? What?’

‘Stop! Stop! Enough already! Don’t do this anymore! Don’t do this to yourself! Don’t do this to me!’

All of a sudden, she feels fear. There is a hard note in his voice, hard and cold like steel, one she has never heard before. ‘Chi Yat-Po, I’m afraid. I’m very afraid. I don’t understand what’s going on…please help me – ’

He looks her straight in the face. ‘There is absolutely nothing to understand – ’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re overthinking the matter! You’re working yourself up for nothing by overthinking the matter! This is not how you should decide what you’re going to do, this is not how life is decided, this is ridiculous, this is nonsense – ’

The intensity in his face, the raised voice, the harshness in his eyes, alarms her and she tries to pull away from him. He holds her hands like a vice.

‘Chi Yat-Po, you’re hurting me! You’re hurting me!’

Her yell hits him like a bucket of cold water. Angry, hurt and ashamed all at once, he grips her hands even harder.

‘Jing Ko – ’ he says deliberately slowly, ‘Jing Ko – ’

They are now face to face, chest to chest. He feels her hipbone against his own. Her breath is hot on his cheeks. She has pulled her hands to her face, stilling fighting to pull away from his grip. He feels the hot tears on his knuckles. His heart hardens.

‘Jing Ko, stop this! If you don’t stop crying, I’m going to pick you up and carry you out to the water edge and throw you over to the fishes – ’

She stares at him, amazed. ‘Chi Yat-Po, are you insane? Have you lost your mind? I dare you! I dare you – ’ – it’s her turn to lose her temper. The tears continue to stream down, now quickly becoming tears of anger and frustration.

Without another word, he picks her up. He kicks the door open and stalks to the water’s edge. ‘Jing Ko, I ask you one more time – will you stop crying?’

Her hands now free, she raises one up, slaps him hard across one cheek.

‘That's it. I've had it. Goodbye, Jing Ko,’ he says and throws her into the sea.